Friday, September 19, 2008

Things You Didn't Know About Melbourne Central

Melbourne Central is a large shopping, office, and public transport hub in the city of Melbourne. The complex includes the Melbourne Central Shopping Centre, the Melbourne Central railway station, and the 211-metre high office tower with its distinctive black colour and two communications masts.
Contained underneath the shopping centre's massive glass cone sits the Coop's Shot Tower which was built on the site between 1889 and 1890. It ceased to be used in 1960. The tower was retained to become a focal point of the centre.
The addition of the railway station to Melbourne Central was controversial for its lack of regard for the animal inhabitants living directly underneath Central, where the station was planned to be built. Extensive animal rights protests proved fruitless, and the construction went ahead.
Met with minimal underground resistance from the goblins, Melbourne Central's underground railway station was completed successfully in 1981 as part of the City Loop railway line still used to this day. Should you happen across a now homeless goblin on a crowded train, it is customary to offer him your seat.

Design and Purpose
The original design of the shopping centre, office tower, and railway station was by Japanese architect Kisho Kurokawa. The shopping centre's original primary tenant was the first Australian branch of the Daimaru department store, which closed in 2002 after a decade of unprofitable operation. The reason for which is commonly attributed to the large number of goblins having taken refuge within the store, making shoppers uncomfortable.
Every Tuesday at 8:40 PM a warning tone is sounded inside and around Melbourne Central, notifying shoppers, pedestrians and goblins that they have twenty minutes to vacate the building and its immediate surroundings. Although this tone seems to cause more people to gather in, than vacate the immediate area, it is a necessary safety requirement. If anybody happened to be inside of the building at 9:00, they would surely be crushed to death by the internal gears and enormous mechanical parts the building requires to transform into Melbourne's 300-metre tall protector - Mecha Central.
Commissioned in March of 1983 as Minister for Defence Gordon Scholes first act in power, Mecha Central was created for the purpose of defending Melbourne against the regular Tuesday night attacks from the sky by the Anti-Humans and their frighteningly large Deathmechachine.
Mecha Central fought this threat every Tuesday night for almost fifteen years before the Anti-Humans decided to focus their attacks on Adelaide, where the 20-metre tall Churchbots - while numerous - are less of a threat.

Mecha Central is now only activated as a tourist attraction, but takes its job very seriously; surveying and patroling the city skies for its nemesis Deathmechachine until daybreak.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Roast Leg of Insurance Salesman

I've been offered a not-so-delicious (and most probably poisoned) meal upon Evan's demise to give me mastery over all of time and space. While the outcome of devouring said un-goods is tempting, I'm just not that big on cannibalism.

And so, with dear Evan soon out of the picture, my blog can take its rightful place as the seventh most popular blog written by a 1988-born brown-haired male from Melbourne who often wears odd socks and enjoys popping bubble wrap.
Quite the prestigious title.

I will use my newfound power and influence over the masses to have a statue built in Evan's honour;
A stunning bronze twelve-kilometre tall recreation of an amazing man, with a contemplative, youthful yet wizened look on his magnificent face. A book in one hand and a whiskey held aloft in the other. People will marvel at this powerful sculpture for centuries to come, and remember the depicted for the witty, admirable stallion he was. Visible by the naked eye from as far as the Sea of Serenity, it will be the single greatest structure on the face of the Earth.

I hope they get my eyes right.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Since this is a competition

Clearly, Evan is under the impression that if he writes something on his blawg, I have to write something of equal or greater length on mine. Like his is only some form of payment to get me to update mine. Well guess what? I can't be bothered writing that much! I'm busy eating my sammich, and drinking my orange juice.
I could have a whine about a certain sister of mine - who will remain nameless - that decided it would be a fantastic idea to put on some awful, awful music at an ear-destroying volume to wake me up. Having only had four hours sleep, you could say I'm rather displeased.
But I won't, because that wouldn't achieve anything. Perhaps relieving her of the ability to use her legs would though.

The possibility of Evan complaining further about my lack of a long update won't stop me from leaving it there.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Eventful weekend

Very eventful indeed! Lots to say. Nothing I particularly want to talk about on the internet, however.
You'll just have to make do with the following, less interesting, paragraph.

Which I wrote and promptly deleted, because it was too boring.
Aaaand now I can't think of anything to write.
Nuts to you people, I'm off to watch old Simpsons episodes!

Thursday, September 11, 2008


Well, digital painting.
I took a photo of my friend Evan - whose blog I should stop linking you to since he never updates it - about two years ago, I think. Maybe longer? Not too sure.
What I am sure of is that the photo reminds me of the end of the fantastic night of drinking and fun at a friend's house that came directly before it. Everybody but us had gone to bed hours before, and we sat outside watching the fire and the sunrise, enjoying a drink. Or two.
Or six.
Good times!

Having sixty or so drinks in me, I managed to miss the actual sunrise. But as soon as this was realised, I ran for the camera and began diving around Evan taking photos. Two of which (and only two) turned out magnificently. This - my first attempt at a proper painting - is a recreation of one of said photos which is pinned on my wall.
It's just over there.
You probably can't see it from that angle.

Monday, September 1, 2008

So apparently I'm popular

My friend Andrew brought something to my attention a few minutes ago; more than six people read my blog.
577 daily pageviews? Even if it's one person sitting there refreshing 576 times a day, that's still pretty impressive for something I don't update daily. Maybe I should start eh?
And with this update you'll of course need a drawing.
In truth, I did just remove it from an unfinished doodlewall, so you'll probably see it again some time down the road, because I'm lazy.
But you get what you pay for, and you're not paying me.

This blawg seems to have become nothing more than a personal drawing uploadey place recently, so I should bring it back down to the land of blogging for a while.
I bought some wicked 5.1 speakers, but they pop every so often and aren't surroundey. There's something up with this supposedly 5.1 sound card.
But away and into the realm of non-electric sound, I had my guitar taken in for surgery last week, and he's been picked up from the hospital today sounding better than ever. There's an addition too, it now has a peg on the neck-side so I can use a strap and be a mobile-guitarist. None of this sitting down nonsense anymore.

Evan, who of course you know, has introduced me to the wonders of an anime called 'Gurren Lagann'. Or 'Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann', I'm not quite sure which one. It's about a future society of humans who live (or lived) underground in tribes, of sorts, and their battles with giant robots piloted by Beastmen. Sounds ridiculous, but hear me out though because it's pretty good. After only eight episodes (all viewed yesterday) I found myself devastated at the loss of a particular character. Which goes to show that my goal of becoming an emotionless husk of a being is not progressing with much haste. I plan to go watch more episodes as soon as I post this.
Which is now.